LIfe has always been so free. Sometimes I feel there is nothing to do in this world. perhaps I avoid taking any responsibility. Takes me to keep tendency to be dull and to escape from any kind of struggle.
I use to play a computer game Age of Mythology. It's an strategy game. I know I am good at it. I play as ecpert level. Situation comes when the enemy attacks to me. I resign from the game immediately. I have no idea why I cant handle it. Perhaps I can survive from it. I dont think it's positive ways. I dont struggle. I cant see myself in any trouble. I cant face it.
Now a days I avoid Gym exercises because I have to suffer, my body will pain and I'll be exhausted.
I dont do my assignments in office. I just avoid it. Making excuses to my colleagues, sitting idle for long, roaming arround and passing my time somehow.
The only thing I do now a days is to ride on my bike with speed 20-25kmps in nights. Everywhere in the streets of Bangalore. Aimless, wherever the road takes me to, whatever the time it is.
I really am planning to get rid of drinking alcohol. I take it everyday till I am completely down. It's painful now. I am suffering from it now. I will have to avoid it. But what is the way? I anyways will have to replace it with something. And here I am all alone.
I call to my friends. very frequently. They talk very formal. Sometime they dont recieve the call even. I dont know how to share myself with them. They have been so far so busy. Sometimes I feel why do I call them my friends.
I dont like being alone. It's the hardest and the most painful. But Everytime when I ask them to go somewhere, all are busy. In my room, I listen to some music, then I play guitar for sometime, I watch youtube videos(some comedy and dance shows). This is it. Not enough to pass one night. I cant talk to my friends. They are busy. They are busy watching some serials, they are with their mom so they cant talk, they are busy playing games. So I get a lot of time. I have no motivation so I cant think of doing anything useful. So it's just a waste. and Life is like that....
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